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Sep
23
Written by:
Audrey Werner
9/23/2011 3:10 PM
My mother showed her first signs of mental acuity problems probably at the age of 52. That was 20 years ago and over those past 20 years she has lost many abilities; the ability to speak sentences, the ability to go to the bathroom on her own, the ability to feed herself, the ability to walk, the ability to care for her grandchildren, the ability to recognize sometimes who is in the room with her. However, what she hasn't lost is her God given ability to nurture. She just does it in a different way. She can't utter words of encouragement anymore, but the nurses in the nursing home used to love it when they were having a hard day, my mom would come up and pat them on the back. She no longer can walk up to a nurse, but she can laugh with them and give them a smile.
Every summer, I cherish the time I have to spend with my mom and this summer was no exception. My mother lives in the northern part of the country and I live in the southern so due to the poor economy and my husband being one of the many under employed for the past few years, I can only see my mom once a year. Although my mother can no longer speak, she can lean toward me (her version of a hug) and can give me eye contact, laugh and smile. The nurses have commented on how every summer my mom's mood dramatically improves......I guess once a mom, always a mom!
My dad has moved on and has found another woman to enjoy his retirement with. He visits my mom from time to time and makes sure that she is taken care of which is something that Pat Robertson has stressed one needs to do. The grandchildren have had to adapt to Grandpa, Grandma and another woman, signs of the times I guess. However, Pat Robertson has not helped my argument for marriage being a holy institution between God, a husband and wife which does last until death and yes, you need to be there in the sickness part.
I close with a story the nurses shared last summer with me about my Mom and Dad. Over 6 years ago my Dad put my Mom in the nursing home as her care became too much of a burden for him to bear. I must admit, for a man who never had to change a diaper of his own children or grandchildren in his life, he was incredible in how he cared for Mom. When Mom first entered the nursing home, that first year was a tough adjustment for her, being surrounded by strangers when you're losing your mind has to be scarey! But what she would do when Dad came to see her was precious as she would get all excited and tell the nurses, "Mine!" Dad was her's and her's alone as they had been married for over 49 years back then. Well, she can no longer say that Dad is hers and hers alone and now she has to share. Her life is still valuable, she still brings a smile to the staff's face and you might get an occasional "love" out of her.....one of the last words she can utter.
I say that we continue to "love" those who aren't so perfect and value all life no matter what the state. Marriage is an institution that God ordained and man has no place in trying to re-define and place a value on which marriage is worth it. I pray that Pat Robertson gets many emails from people who beg to differ with his inaccurate assessment!
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